Nov 21, 2025 — Recording 2 (14:51) (Part 4)
Nov 21, 2025 — Recording 2 (14:51)
Audio: 20251121-145103.mp3 · Duration 19:01
**2:51pm, revisiting last night's horrible anger meltdown and the value of working with me in person avoiding the poor integrity of the so-called “Citizen Tech” conversation.*
"It's 2:51 PM." (00:13)
"Friday, November 21st, 2025." (00:15)
"Uh, I had a... this is just some thoughts." (00:19)
"Every once in a while I go through these horrible meltdowns from the..." (00:28)
"accumulative just effects of the... the minute-to-minute unresolved trauma..." (00:36)
"that has been happening for a year now." (00:44)
"And previously just the events leading up to what I'm experiencing, the horrible infection in Portland." (00:48)
"Events in Portland in general. Portland was supposed to be healing." (01:00)
"Uh, healing and... and resetting life away from the divorce..." (01:04)
"...was a chance to give my wife some space from my presence and..." (01:11)
"And I did not plan to get so sick out there. And, uh..." (01:18)
"And so every once in a while..." (01:27)
"You know, it seems about two times a month..." (01:30)
"...I have these horrible screaming meltdowns." (01:34)
"Alcohol is usually a catalyst to... to release the suffering and it actually is really helpful." (01:38)
"From the distance a few moments ago, paraphrasing, 'You should be proud of yourself.'" (01:47)
"From just now again, 'You should be proud of yourself for what you've accomplished.'" (01:58)
"From the author, 'Thank you.'" (02:05)
"Um, I'm gonna try to remind myself, I think affirmations can be helpful, but also..." (02:10)
"...another suggestion is allow yourself to have these feelings." (02:20)
"And that's very important. I think there is an old school mentality..." (02:27)
"...from the distance just now, '1950s hate culture mentality'..." (02:35)
"...that, you know, you should be embarrassed for crying." (02:40)
"Um, and it doesn't really address what crying is." (02:45)
"Uh, it's an alarm going off. I mean, your body is a machine." (02:51)
"And when you are under pressure..." (02:56)
"You know, you... the pressure gets stuck inside I think and it can literally cause cancer." (02:59)
"Especially if you punish yourself for your feelings." (03:09)
"And so, uh, I don't judge myself if I have one of these horrible meltdowns, but..." (03:14)
"...it does surface a lot of information. Just the reality of the situation." (03:20)
"And how long it takes..." (03:28)
"Uh, you know, will support ever happen?" (03:31)
"Um, in addition to these meltdowns..." (03:35)
"You know, there's... there's also..." (03:39)
"...uh, just a... a pitfall in motivation. Just the bottom falls out." (03:43)
"The more violent the conversation is and the more persistent it is and the more over time more information reveals itself..." (03:49)
"The actual content of these conversations..." (04:00)
"Uh... you know, sadly I..." (04:05)
"I... I think that... there... there are some parallels I don't want to point out or accuse anyone but because the truth of it is..." (04:11)
"...is that you can't... you know, putting faith in this conversation is..." (04:20)
"...it's a waste of time." (04:27)
"Um... you know, I think it's important to have an awareness of it." (04:30)
"And if you're very lucky today if you're not targeted." (04:36)
"I think there are clearly two types of people. And someone has..." (04:41)
"...made this statement and suggested this in the past, paraphrasing..." (04:46)
"There are two types of people in the world now. You're either observing someone or you're being observed." (04:50)
"And what does a quality of life look like for these two groups?" (05:00)
"Based on my experience, the separation of the classes is so..." (05:08)
"...uh... it's so vast and so painful." (05:16)
"I mean to have somebody present observing you, picking through your thoughts..." (05:22)
"You know, just that alone will begin to dismantle someone's life." (05:29)
"Um, the presence is obvious. The explanation is not obvious." (05:38)
"After one year it... it... it though it does become more and more obvious. Obvious that these are human beings..." (05:45)
"...in an entitled position." (05:54)
"Using their authority and entitlement to invade and pass judgment." (05:57)
"And pressure people. Uh, for example..." (06:06)
"...you know, there's a few questions that present themselves in the conversation." (06:10)
"Uh, 'Is this person, the author, already working with someone? Is he doing the bidding of these people?'" (06:16)
"'Is he vulnerable? Should we assist him possibly?' Or..." (06:23)
"You know, and, uh, how do you know that this question is happening? Well..." (06:29)
"People try for hours and hours, for days, weeks..." (06:35)
"...to give you commands and to find out if you're going to do the bidding." (06:39)
"Right? And so I do not advise that. The document calls that out..." (06:44)
"...as being one of the most dangerous things you could do." (06:49)
"And one of the most predatory forms of behavior." (06:53)
"Um, how this system is being used on me..." (06:57)
"...is called out daily as being horrible, paraphrasing 'Horrible. I feel horrible for what we're doing to this person.'" (07:05)
"'This is the worst treatment of a United States citizen, the worst treatment of a human being I have ever experienced in my career.'" (07:15)
"You know, and... and it just..." (07:28)
"The situation the city of Denver is in right now..." (07:32)
"...it... it's horrific." (07:37)
"It's absolutely horrific. And I think this separation of the classes will hide just how horrible the citizen experience is from people." (07:40)
"There are daily suggestions that..." (07:52)
"Um, you know, people don't have good information on the person they're observing." (07:55)
"Right?" (08:02)
"People are given false information. False information is rewarded." (08:04)
"There's an actual industry in it." (08:10)
"False information and weaponized suggested statements happen all the time to discredit supportive conversations." (08:13)
"What happened to..." (08:26)
"...you know, this idea that an in-person relationship provides valuable information?" (08:29)
"You know, the first thing you get if you humor to Zoom call with me is you would get my unfiltered, unedited opinion." (08:38)
"I mean, that's the first... that's the first value." (08:51)
"By sitting with a human being on a Zoom call." (08:55)
"You don't have anyone else..." (08:59)
"Uh, you know, you... you take control of that method... uh, that... that conversation with a much stronger method of communication." (09:02)
"You can see each other, you're talking, and even though someone might try to interrupt you..." (09:11)
"...telepathically or using Citizen Tech, you can at least count on that information coming from the individual." (09:19)
"You have a recording of it, you know?" (09:28)
"And it just... I... there's a historical suggestion that..." (09:33)
"...there's an organizational belief that in-person evidence is no longer needed." (09:38)
"Physical evidence in many cases, not in all cases, has been replaced with this brain-to-brain connection." (09:45)
"And it's being used by people that don't have much..." (09:57)
"You know, being used by people that favor a Pavlovian mindset, a dog psychology." (10:02)
"And I... I don't. That's something you might... even a... like a..." (10:13)
"I'm Gen X I believe..." (10:21)
"Uh, I mean many of today's generations are..." (10:23)
"...are not... they don't align with that kind of thinking." (10:29)
"That... that kind of dog psychology might be present in gang culture, like in street culture, but not... I wouldn't call it modern or relevant." (10:34)
"I mean I'm... I come from technology." (10:46)
"And, uh... I just don't appreciate dog psychology. I have no use for it." (10:49)
"For a variety of reasons." (11:01)
"And I just... people are being subjected to this. Someone mentioned '1950s hate culture' earlier. That is exactly what I would call it." (11:05)
"That is exactly what I would call it." (11:20)
"Um, anyways..." (11:26)
"I wanted to say a few things to myself to just try and feel better about the situation." (11:30)
"I mean, I... I've been here before. It's not pretty." (11:37)
"Um, and there is horrible burnout that comes with it." (11:46)
"I'm gonna go ahead and get out to the intersection now." (11:54)
"Um, remember the goal at the intersection is silence." (11:59)
"There is no scenario where I'm out there attempting to suppress myself." (12:04)
"I most likely will make the decision soon to attempt to find a job again and I do not see it going well." (12:09)
"I do not see it going well. Um, people are still asking me to accept euthanization." (12:17)
"The communication with the vehicles at the intersection is worse. It's the worst it's ever been." (12:24)
"Today, uh... still using the same sign, 'Google The Battle for Your Brain.'" (12:32)
"Uh, Nita Farahany, Duke University Professor of Law and Neuroethicist book, 'The Battle for Your Brain' has been prompting communication with the vehicles..." (12:38)
"...including 'Do not Google that information or you will be punished.'" (12:50)
"Right? There is no scenario where I'm telling this to the vehicles." (13:00)
"And if you have somebody telling you that that's the truth of the situation..." (13:06)
"...that I'm standing out there suppressing my own access to money..." (13:11)
"...that person may be suffering from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder stemming from a fixed belief system." (13:16)
"And it... it could also be that... an agenda." (13:26)
"An agenda that they're going to tell you whatever they can to..." (13:30)
"...quoting some of today's discussion. The presence of law enforcement is really profound." (13:36)
"The suggestion of... of law enforcement in this so-called Citizen Tech conversation, these external statements..." (13:43)
"Paraphrasing, 'I'm going to put in the report that the DEA... the DEA has been lying to us and they are telling us that they are lying to us.'" (13:51)
"You know? Who might suggest that?" (14:04)
"FBI?" (14:09)
"From the distance right now, 'Homeland Security'?" (14:13)
"Um, I mean before I go out here, I understand that observations are going to happen..." (14:21)
"...that uh, the entire conversation was recorded and documented." (14:28)
"Especially if you have people lying about who I am. The historical attempt to destroy my character, my reputation." (14:32)
"Consider the source. Consider the source and how easily people incriminate themselves in criminal activity." (14:40)
"Um... you know... uh..." (14:53)
"And also just some of the tragic irony of, um..." (14:57)
"The... the amount of money, time, and energy going in to executing me." (15:03)
"I mean I... I probably could have bought a home... my assumption is the amount of money being spent would have paid for a condo easily by now." (15:08)
"You know, if you need me to stop communicating, just consider..." (15:21)
"...uh... or con... you know... contributing these transcripts to the document..." (15:25)
"...please consider just assisting instead." (15:31)
"Um, where does tolerance and compassion come from?" (15:36)
"You know, I... uh... I included the critical disclaimer in the document..." (15:40)
"...on the, you know, based on the advice of artificial intelligence on how I could protect law enforcement from these horrible accusations." (15:46)
"No good deed goes unpunished in this world, especially in this situation." (15:56)
"I think doubt and disbelief continue to surface in the conversation." (16:04)
"I'm gonna get out here and work on this uh, surfacing the terrorist threat..." (16:08)
"...the terrorism. The threat of the so-called euthanization ugly workflows." (16:12)
"I'm gonna start a new recording and I'll... I'll work on my positive affirmations what I can say to myself later." (16:17)
"I'm still dealing with a sinus infection. I've got a bedsore on my tailbone from the..." (16:26)
"...the bedding in the shelter. Or the absence of bedding." (16:31)
"And, uh... I'm just... I'm just super tired." (16:37)
"And people continue to die around me, that's the suggestion." (16:42)
"People are being connected to me, manipulated." (16:47)
"I mean it's really... it's really something. If you think I'm not listening or you doubt that I'm listening, uh..." (16:52)
"You know, that's gonna be understandable, but these conversations never go away." (16:59)
"The observations don't go away and... and it is painful because I want to return to work." (17:07)
"I want to go to a job interview and get the job based on my own merit and without character defamation." (17:12)
"You know, and just uh I don't know what to say. Uh..." (17:22)
"I think if... if this is happening, if there is a huge disconnect on what the citizen goes through..." (17:28)
"You know, not having a relationship, an in-person relationship with your citizens would definitely contribute to that." (17:34)
"I mean, how is someone supposed to articulate their feedback without an explanation?" (17:46)
"Without an honest explanation first of all." (17:51)
"That's going to bias information. Especially if they feel threatened." (17:55)
"What is the likelihood of someone coming near you or talking to you if this continues any longer?" (18:02)
"I mean you... you're inevit... it's inevitable that you will have to use publicly facing methods of communication." (18:09)
"Remember if you're going through this and people continue to attempt to lure you out of your home at night..." (18:16)
"...promises of relief from suffering, intimacy, financial support..." (18:22)
"...uh, whatever it may be, do not go looking for it." (18:28)
"Do not fall for that. That is one of the most dangerous things you can do." (18:36)
"And they... they know that's a predatory way and they know it. And they're counting on you not knowing." (18:40)
"Consider that." (18:48)
"I'm gonna end this recording at 3:09. At 18 minutes." (18:53)
"Thank you for your service, everyone." (18:58)